Consent
Written by TPOK Archivist on August 12, 2017
Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.
Consent occurs when all parties involved in a sexual act give permission to participate in specific acts or specific types of relationships. For many partners, consent may be as simple as asking if it’s okay to touch a partner in a certain way and only doing so when the partner says “yes.” Consent is an important aspect of sexual relationships because it helps ensure that all people are respected and feel safe.
In BDSM, consent tends to be obtained through detailed negotiation before a scene (either by contract or verbal agreement) and maintained by using safe words during a scene. This is because BDSM play often pushes more personal boundaries and involves play that may be uncomfortable, painful or even dangerous. Consent can be revoked at any point during a BDSM scene or relationship.
Consent within BDSM is when a participant gives their permission for certain acts or types of relationships. It bears much in common with the concept of informed consent. It is an issue that attracts much attention within BDSM, as well from outside observers.
Legal consent is a separate and largely unrelated matter. The importance of consent is simultaneously a personal, ethical, and social issue. Acts undertaken with a lack of consent may be considered abusive and shunned within the BDSM subculture.
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