Relationship Orientation

Written by on August 27, 2017

Kinkly Glossary Term: Relationship Orientation

Kinkly Entry

Relationship orientation refers to the type of personal relationships preferred by an individual. There are various orientations including monogamy and polyamory.

Kinkly Glossary Term: Lovestyle

Kinkly Entry

Lovestyle is an alternative term to lifestyle, describing the way a person loves, rather than the way that a person lives. It is commonly used within New Age, polyamory, and tantra communities. The members of these fringe groups insist the way that they conduct their relationships is indicative of a lovestyle rather than a lifestyle. However, the term is also gaining more mainstream acceptance.

Loving More Glossary Term: Relationship Orientation

Relationship Orientation noun

  1. The preference for sexual relationships or lovestyles which are monogamous, non-monogamous, intimate network, Polyfidelitous, etc.
  2. The design or structure of a sexual love relationship. Like the term lifestyle, it implies a conscious choice.

Synonym Lovestyle

Loving More Glossary Term: Lovestyle

Lovestyle noun

The design or structure of a sexual love relationship, like the term lifestyle, it implies a conscious choice.

Synonym Relationship Orientation

More Than Two Glossary Term: Relationship Orientation

A preference for sexual or loving relationships of a particular form; as, for example, a preference for relationships that are monogamous, for relationships that are polyfidelitous, for relationships that are polyamorous, and so forth.

Commentary: Just as some people feel that their sexual orientation is fluid and a matter of choice where other people feel that their sexual orientation is fixed and not subject to choice, so do some people feel that their relationship orientation is subject to choice whereas others feel their relationship orientation is not a matter of choice. It has been my observation that some people seem to be inherently monogamous, and can’t be happy any other way; some people seem to be inherently polyamorous, and can’t be happy any other way; and some people seem to be able, under the right circumstances and with the right partners, to be happy in a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship.

Wikipedia Glossary Term: Colour Wheel Theory of Love

Wikipedia Entry

The colour wheel theory of love is an idea created by Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee that describes six styles of love, using several of the Greek words for love. First introduced in his book Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving (1973), Lee defines three primary, three secondary and nine tertiary love styles, describing them in terms of the traditional color wheel. The three primary types are eros, ludus and storge, the three secondary types are mania, pragma and agape.


Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of Texas Tech University expanded on this theory in the mid-1980s with their extensive research on what they called “love styles”. Their study found that male students tend to be more ludic, whereas female students tend to be storgic and pragmatic. Whilst the ludic love style may predominate in men under thirty years of age, studies on more mature men have shown that the majority of them do indeed mature into desiring monogamy, marriage and providing for their family by the age of thirty.

Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) developed a self-report questionnaire measure of Lee’s love styles, known as the Love Attitudes Scale (LAS). A shortened version of the LAS, presumably for researchers trying to keep their surveys as concise as possible, was later published, and other variations appear to have been used by some researchers. Respondents indicate their level of agreement or disagreement with the LAS items, examples of which include “My partner and I have the right physical ‘chemistry'” (Eros) and “Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship” (Storge). Depending on the version of the LAS one administers, there are from 3–7 items for each of the six styles described above.

A 2002 article illustrated the use of the LAS.

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