Written by yummy on August 8, 2017
The most dominant people I’ve met are the ones that at first blush don’t appear to be dominant. They often stand back, they let others say their piece; they don’t feel it necessary to share all that they know to all in earshot or trumpet their knowledge loudly to the world. They watch, they listen and they learn.
They may quietly suggest, they may say nothing at all. They get to know the person. They just quietly make their influence felt. They’ll share their knowledge, privately or publicly, based on their individual personality, but they will do so only when truly interested people are around. And they’ll do it when the time is right for them to do it (which isn’t every moment you communicate with them). They are able to share the spotlight and will even shine it on others when they feel it appropriate to do so and that will be more often than once every blue moon.
Sometimes they’ll come across as almost submissive, as they have nothing to prove to anyone. They do not have the need to exaggerate their knowledge or experience in the lifestyle and they’ll be the first to admit areas of non-expertise. I can’t think of one who boasts they have been dominant since the day they were born. Nor do I hear them talk about themselves natural or truly dominant. They are unlikely to say to this post “Oh, she must be talking about me”.
I’ve long felt the less flashy the outward appearance of the dominance the stronger the dominant is. For control is a private thing between individuals it need not be broadcast to the world. They don’t feel the need to control the waitress at the diner, the submissive they met an hour ago or anyone’s garden gnome.
Of course, your mileage may vary. And yes, there are always going to be exceptions that fit the rule.